That Dinner Scene You Wanted
by 42monkeys
Summary: A month after the events of Mortal Coil, Tanith comes back for the dinner Ghastly promised her.


There is a tapping on Ghastly Bespoke's bedroom window. He isn't there to hear it. Working one room over, cutting and sewing and measuring, he doesn't notice the window above his bed open. Ghastly hasn't really slept in a month, not since he'd agreed to the position of Elder, not since Tanith had disappeared. Instead, his old profession has been pushed into the night, as Sanctuary duties take up most of the day. He doesn't really mind; they keep him busy, keep his mind from dwelling on the fact that she might be impossible to find and impossible to cure.

There's a knocking sound, and when he looks up to see who's standing in the doorframe, he thinks he's finally fallen asleep and is dreaming. Tanith leans on the frame so he sees her in silhouette. Her sword is not strapped to her back. A brown paper back is in her left hand. She grins.

"Elder Bespoke, now, isn't it? It doesn't suit you. You should have stayed a simple tailor."

Ghastly is completely taken aback. She's possessed by a Remnant and disappears for a month, and then she shows up in his house in the middle of the night and insults him. The only way he can possibly respond is, "Simple? I'll have you know I'm the best there is." Tanith seems to laugh, or at least let out breath loudly, and Ghastly comes to his senses.

"Tanith, where the hell have you been? I've been looking everywhere, sending people…"

"I've been around," she replies, starting to walk towards him. "Your people were good, but you know me." Ghastly has been working at a table, and now she pulls up a chair to join him and sits. "I'm the best there is."

"And the Remnant?"

"I am the Remnant, and I am Tanith. We are one and the same." For a second, she lets her lips turn black, the veins stand out on her face. Only for a second.

"Why are you here, then?"

"Oh, I got bored. Hanging around with only Billy-Ray will do that to you. I found a lead and told him that I could take this one alone."

"A lead?"

"Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough. Anyway, I had just realized it was a dead end I thought, hey, don't I owe someone a dinner?" She sets the paper bag on the table, and Ghastly can see that it's from a burger chain. She takes out two burgers, an extra-large box of fries, and five assorted dipping sauces. Ghastly didn't even know there were that many.

"Wasn't I supposed to make the dinner?"

"A dinner is a dinner," says Tanith. "But if it makes you feel better, you can make tea." She starts unwrapping her burger.

Ghastly doesn't know what to think. She's definitely Tanith, but she's right, the Remnant is obviously in there too. He doesn't know what he should do in this situation: handcuff her and take her to the Sanctuary? Tell her to get out of his house? He stands up and fills the teapot with water.

Meanwhile, Tanith is squeezing each dipping sauce packet onto the inside lid of the fry box. She takes a fry, dips it in one, takes a bite, dips it in the next one, takes a bite, and so on until the fry has been completely eaten. Ghastly sits back down at the table with her.

"What _are_ all of those?"

"Do you realize," says Tanith, "That nearly everything you've said to me tonight has been a question?"

Ghastly doesn't respond for a minute or two, instead looking at what exactly Tanith is eating. Ketchup and mustard are obvious, and he thinks the next one is barbeque sauce, and the white one is probably mayonnaise, but Ghastly has no idea why she would want to eat it on a French fry. The last one might be terrible hot sauce, but it also might be terrible sweet and sour sauce, and he stops himself from asking her.

"So being an Elder is fun," he finally says, with just enough sarcasm that she doesn't believe it. He takes a fry, dips it in the last one. It's a terrible mix of sweet and sour sauce _and _hot sauce. He dips the fry in it again.

"I bet," says Tanith. "I've heard for that for every law they make for the people, they have another five restraining themselves."

He almost laughs. "That's actually true. The robes are incredibly uncomfortable and unstylish, but I can't redesign them. They're sacred apparently, and I have to wear them _everywhere."_

Tanith does laugh. She's obviously more at ease than him, doesn't fear any danger at all. Ghastly guesses that not bringing her sword was supposed to get him that way too, but he just can't. She doesn't care about him anymore, he thinks, she's doing this for a laugh and then she'll be away again. He thought at first this night could work out, just for a second, but he's just going to get more and more nervous and sad.

"This isn't helping, Tanith."

"What?" She looks up from her burger, mouth full.

"I said this isn't helping me get over you."

She swallows. "Ghastly, this wasn't supposed to. I don't care if you're over me or not. I came to visit because I miss you guys, and I figured you'd be the least likely to turn me in."

He crosses his arms. He hasn't started eating yet, except for the fry in terrible sauce. "So you don't care about my feelings at all."

"This is the new me, remember? I don't really care about anyone's feelings."

"So why did you visit at all?"

"I told you, I miss you. All of you. I have the capacity to miss people, I'm not completely unfeeling." She sighs and stands. "I knew it; I should have dropped in on Valkyrie."

"So I wasn't even your first choice?"

Ghastly can't believe he let his guard down, that he thought for even one second that this could turn out well. He spent the entire month searching for her, but now that she's here he can't stand it. He wants normal Tanith back; all of her, or not at all.

"Ghastly…"

"Just don't." He turns his head away. In the background, the teapot starts the quiet hissing that will eventually be a full-blown whistle.

She steps towards him, puts her hand on his shoulder. He still doesn't look at her.

"Ghastly, she'll never come back, the Tanith you fell in love with. I'm the closest there'll ever be. You know I'll never let you turn me back." Leaning forward, she kisses him on his still-turned cheek.

"Don't do this again," he whispers. "Don't come back."

The teapot starts whistling.

"Say hi to Valkyrie for me," she says. "And Skulduggery and Fletcher." She wraps her burger back up, puts it in the bag.

"Tanith…"

She turns around, walks toward the doorway.

"Tanith."

Ghastly stands up, but she's already out of the room, into his bedroom, out the window. He hears a faint "goodbye", but he can't tell the direction it's coming from.

He walks back to the table.

The teapot is ear-splittingly loud.

He unwraps his burger.


End file.
